Another Sigh.....Last one for the day

Thats it.....Today is just one of those days! Here is another Debby Downer blog. This time it is about work. Can I just say that I hate, HATE, my job? I really do. I wake up in the morning dredding the drive, sitting at work doing dumb-mans work, having my soul ripped out a small peice at a time, knowing I have to be morally gray and have no ethical standards - pretty much go against everything I am. I am a firm believer that you should love what you do and do what you love. I am doing neither. Funny thing is it didn't start out that way. When I first started working with my company I was optimistic, excited, and pumped to succeed and making something out of my situation. I was actually able to achieve that - I become a manager within a year and had my own building and team of 12 to manage. I loved my job - I truly truly did. Everything about it from the daily morning meetings, pulling up reports, coaching and training my reps, just chatting with them and getting to know them, even ordering the stinking supplies and stocking the bathroom. I was content and had never been happier professionally. Then the company just came and took that all away from me in one blow. The company re-orged and we were moved to a completely different world. We ended up in the call center of all places! That place had no morals, values, or soul. It sucked the life out of you as soon as you parked your car in the parking lot. There was no escaping that feeling of despair. The happiness was stolen from me and my team but we still tried to make the best out of it. You can only get squirted in the eye so many times by lemons before you throw that shit out into the street to get ran over by a car. I have been trying to get myself to stick it out, "just a little bit longer" I keep telling myself. But I am just drained - emotionally, physically, mentally. I have just 4 classes left in my degree that I can take somewhere else (electives) and I have been applying like a mad woman for jobs at Aetna. That is where I want to be. I feel my heart is in the health care field. My whole family has been in that field. I like to help people and feel I can do that in the health care field. My real desire is to be a Provider Services Rep and work my way up. I go to the company's site every day, three to five times a day, looking for positions, for that ONE position, and applying to whatever I can. FINALLY that position was listed and I applied so fast it was like lightning. I am keeping my fingers crossed that I can get it! I have no experience what so ever in the health care field but I know I can do it. There is no doubt or question in my body - I CAN DO THAT JOB. I don't look at my lack of experience as an obstacle, I look at it as a challenge. One I am eager to take on. Cross your fingers for me :)